What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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