Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I need mimosas to revive my soul
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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