i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
did i just pee glitter
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
