Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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