My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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