hotel room ftw
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
