There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
