it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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