i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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