At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
