I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
