Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We talked him into tasing himself.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
