There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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