i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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