Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I could fuck to npr.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
