Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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