we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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