This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
