i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
