No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
