Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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