some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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