At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
