So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
