Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just pynch a tree in the face
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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