her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
