I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
