this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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