I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
