I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
