Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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