why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
