why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
the day after is always just damage control
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
