you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
