Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
