im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
