just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
