Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
