I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
