Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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