i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
