I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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