I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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