I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I looked at my own cervix.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
