My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
