We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
