I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
