dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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