He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
