Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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