I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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