yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
